I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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