Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
