I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
