i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
