Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize