I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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