he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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