Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize