Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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