The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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