i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
