And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
