All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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