Buhtt sex?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
