cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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