did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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