the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Please don't give away my fajitas
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
