Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
His nipple licking is glorious
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