I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
