its not stalking. its research.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
