Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
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