I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
