cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
