the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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