He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
i think i just lost a toe
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
