In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
