somebody snuck up and got me drunk
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
