Already got asked if we're dating
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
