I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize