In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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