somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
