It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
