I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
