Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
