so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
