Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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