everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I love having hate sex.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
