The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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