i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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