you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
