New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
