That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
