kristin has been a bad kristin
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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