I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize