if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
