need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
