escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
