You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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