Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
