I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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