It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
