It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize