finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
