I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
