hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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