Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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