Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
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