Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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