There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
