so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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