Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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