capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
