Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
