If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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