You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
