Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
